Monday, March 28, 2011

CVS does surgery

only kidding.  But am I?

CVS is doubling their food sections to compete with supermarkets.   In the 'biz' it's called 'channel blurring'.  The idea of this is that when a customer walks into a store, they should be able to get what they want when they want it, without having to go to 4 different stores.

So when you go to your pharmacy to get your chol. medication, on the way out you can get a carton of eggs.  Makes sense right?  one stop shopping.

Lets face it, supermarkets have had pharmacies in their stores for a while now, so to me, it's just fair.

But when you stop and think about it.  Do we go anywhere anymore that is strictly what the retail is really about.

Every morning I pull into the gas station before work.  No, not to get gas, but to get D&D coffee.  That's right, the gas station has a D&D right in the gas station.

Lets not forget about newspaper, milk, snacks, it's all there.  Though everything is cramped in and you pray that you don't get stuck behind someone because you can get sandwiched in those isles.  Believe me, it's not fun, it happens to me all the time.

So the other day I had to get a gift for a friend.  So, like any normal person I walked into the coffee shop.  Oh, its not that friend likes coffee, they dont.    But, they love music and love to read.  So where else would one go for that?...tah dah, the coffee shop.  Makes sense right?

Lets face it, it's starting to get a little our of  control.  I also have gotten myself into the habit of going to the nearest store to get what I need.   Why go any further when I can go to the gas station to get feet fungus removal.

But there is a con to all of this, and that is the gas station probably doesn't sell foot fungus removal, but you end up buying some cream that the gas station attendant said his mother in laws sister used and it worked.

so you buy it, because who really wants to drive to another store.

My prediction, within one year, if you need to get a kidney transplant, have no fear, your neighborhood CVS has a surgeon on call that has an office right in the back of the store.

I mean really, how many got the flu shot this year at their local pharmacy?  Maybe it's me, I'm just not ready to get my health care in the back of a pharmacy just yet.

But then again, ask me next year.  Who knows, it actually might not be that bad now that I think about it.  I mean really, after getting discharged from the pharmacy, as I am being pushed out on a wheelchair through the front door, I could stack a bunch of food items and stick them in the wheelchair on my way out the door.

hey, why not?  It will save me a trip.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Need a Laugh

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

Started my day at 6:00 a.m.  Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines.. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members.. Her voice is a little too perky for that earl y in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster.. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.

Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny bitch to find me.

Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
_________ _ _____________________
I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little shit) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

New Blog

Well, the move has been done. I have moved everything over here to my new blog. Now, the reason why.

To be honest, Quakers aren't materialistic people. That's the truth. I personally try to live my life as simple as I can and I do not purchase a lot of things that I just don't need. It's like trying to sell a car to the Amish, it just isn't happening.

But at the same time, if selling is your bread and butter, then maybe one needs to look at people who are actually into buying stuff.

I will continue to post different stuff, because I do get bored with blogs that just try to sell you stuff. But I really need to focus on sales.

I do hope you continue following me.


Here is a very simple card to give anyone who just needs a little Hope in their lives.
words of hope card
words of hope

Quote of the Day

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~Mother Teresa