Saturday, April 23, 2011

boys and girls

So I was walking through the park the other day and I noticed all these kids playing around. I decided to stop and just watch them. Not in a kind of weird way, but because I am what they call a 'people watcher'. I am actually fascinated by

Anyway, i noticed there was a little soccer game going on, not a planned activity, just a bunch of kids just kicking the ball around. They ranged from 3 yrs old to maybe about 6. IT was clear, it didnt matter if the girls were rough housing. It is now acceptable for a little girl to play sports. Just like boys.

So, There they were, boys and girls just kicking around a ball.

Then I saw that there was a group of girls sitting around playing 'house', they had their worn out dolls with them. But here is what started bothering me, no boys.

That's right, no boys were playing with the dolls. surprise surprise surprise.

Why is that?

I know Boys like little babies. Then the more I thought about it, who decided that girls can play anything they want, but boys cant do that?

Men in general. As a society, we have placed great importance on being a 'man'. Men don't feel, men don't cry, men don't blah blah blah. We dont place the same 'rules' on women.

But then again, society still dictates that women don't measure up to a man.

Then my thoughts started to look at those kids again. Girls can play with anything they want and no one even thinks about it. But a boy, I mean, they are really restricted to what they can play. Society will tell them that they cant do certain things before they reach the age of 10.

Why do we have this standard? Why do we have to have control over what our boys decide to play with.

The odd thing about this, is that men are actually judged on what a good father they are. "oh, hes great with the kids". "oh, he is such a good father". We hardly ever hear this about mothers. Women are supposed to know this, but men arent, and that is why we make a point on stating it.

Kind of ironic, isnt it. We want our men to be good fathers, but we dont think they should pretend to be dads when their kids.

There are millions of single dads out there trying to parent their kids the best way they can. My question is this, wouldn't their children be better off if we let them be 'pretend dads' when they were younger?

I know a lot of men who feel that they 'just can't do it' alone. I truly think their beliefs are based on fear. They were never even given a chance. We already installed the belief that men are not good parents, because we wont even let our boys pretend to be dads.

So, as I watched the kids play, girls doing what ever they want, and boys, clearly, playing the acceptable games.

What if, just for a minute, if these boys were allowed to play with dolls, what would actually happen to them? Would they be better equip to parent their kids when they got older?

Lets face it, its all based on fear. If a boy plays with dolls, he maybe gay? Which again finds me at a weird place, because some people actually feel that gay people shouldnt be parents.

So when you actually stop and think about it, to put this whole post in a nut shell. If a boy plays 'pretends to be a dad', he may turn out to be gay, so then gay men would in turn make better fathers, but yet some feel that gay men shouldn't even be fathers.

I dont know, Maybe I'm just missing something?

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